No wrong answer

No wrong answer is a marriage rule from So You Married a Human by Jackie Kelley. Saying it signals that the question coming is not a trap: you genuinely just need the answer, and whatever your spouse says will be accepted.

A three tier blue wedding cake with a single crumb on the floor beside it

In Jackie's words

“No wrong answer” is basically the human version of a dog rolling over onto its back when approached by a larger dog, or entering a room with your hands raised, or transmitting “we come in peace” from your alien spaceship.

It translates to something like this: Even though the question I’m about to ask might sound like a trap, I genuinely just need to know the answer. I promise that whatever answer you give will be accepted with open arms. You are not under attack. You are not being set up. You are totally safe.

That was a lot wordier than I initially anticipated, but you get the idea. If you’re still a bit confused, let me give you some examples of when this rule could come in handy:

  • “No wrong answer, but will you be home for dinner tonight?”
  • “No wrong answer, but do you have the capacity to walk the dogs?”
  • “No wrong answer, but did you remember to run the dishwasher this morning?”
  • “No wrong answer, but have you had a chance to think about what you want to do for Christmas this year?”

Want to read more? Order your copy

All of the rules are in the book

The Totally Doable, Unconventional Guide to a Thriving Partnership